Me: He has pictures of me looking like a cheap whore!
Dougan: Don't we all?

Steve (from Blue's Clues): These are my bunny slippers. They're soft and fuzzy on top to keep my feet warm, and hard and bumpy on the bottom so I don't slip when I walk, because, you know, sometimes I do that...

Jason: So... my roommate hit a deer...

Me: You must moo for my alarm clock.
Henry T. Scott: Absolutely. I'm mooing for you now.

Hal Sparks: HOLY CHEESE BEANS!!!

Shannon: IT'S THE TREE!!! *HONK*

Jenn: What happens when you guys outgrow the little gay phase?

Joanna: He was putting his fingers all over me... No, I was in his clothes.

Priest: Please kneel...
Me: That's priest-speak for "on your knees, bitch!"

Joanna: If you're gonna be illegal, be illegal with a cute guy!

Ava: She's one of those friends - the kind that eats all the good food and shits on the floor!

Robyn: You don't want to be an intellectual virgin; you want to be an intellectual slut!

Erin: That Trevor kid bought us pizza.
Me: I'm coming over.
*hang up*
Jenn (to Erin): She's coming over, isn't she?

Erin: We rented some Dick... Anyone wanna come see Dick with us?

Shannon: I can't get my finger down there!

Carrie (a lit major): How many "t"s are there in "opening"?

Dominic: I'm not insensitive. I just don't care.

Erin: It's like a Spanish soap opera - I'm interested, and I wanna watch it, but I don't really understand...

Tom: We can lay around naked looking up all the long words in Mansfield Park.